Natalie's Rap (featuring Natalie Portman & Chris Parnell)
(And in three... two...)
We’re sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman.
Hello. So, Natalie. What’s a day in the life of Natalie Portman like?
Do you really wanna know? Please. Tell us.
I don’t sleep motherfucka off that yak and that durban
Doin one-twenty gettin head while I’m swervin
(Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick)
Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick
I bust in dudes' mouths like gushers muthafucka
Roll up on NBC and smack the shit out Jeff Zucker
What you want Natalie? - To drink and fight
What you need Natalie? - To fuck all night
Don’t test when I’m crazy off that airplane glue
Put my foot down your throat til your shit's in my shoe
Leave you screamin
Pay for my dry cleaning
Fuck your man, it’s my name that he’s screamin
I’m sorry Natalie. Are we to believe... you condone driving
while intoxicated?
I never said I was a role model. But, what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a
message for them?
All the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick
It’s Portman motherfucka, drink til I’m sick
Slit your throat, and pump nitrous down the hole
Watch you laugh and cry, while I laugh you die
And all the dudes, you know I’m talkin to you
(We love you Natalie)
I wanna fuck you too
P - is for Portman
P - is for pussy
I’ll kill your fuckin dog for fun so don’t push me
Wow.... Natalie... I’m surprised, all this from a Harvard graduate.
Well, there’s a lot you may not know about me. Really? Uh, such as...?
When I was in Harvard
I smoked weed everyday
I cheated every test
And snorted all the yay
I got a def posse
You got a buncha dudes
I'll sit right down on your face and take a shit
Natalie, you are a badass bitch (hell yeah!)
And I always pay for your dry cleanin
When my shit gets in your shoe (what!)
And as for the drug use
Well I can vouch for that
My dick is scared of you, oh
Okie-doke... Natalie, one final question: if you could steal a
